...There are kinder people than me. But I do try to be. I know what's it's like to be judged for what you are instead of who you are, and I don't want to make anyone else feel that way.
... I know I do, but... I feel that you understand me a lot more than others. And... I don't like it because we have felt similar loneliness and rejection, but at the same time... it feels nice that there's someone who understands.
leng feng takes a deep breath, a melancholy smile on his face. ]
I can understand that. It's... nice, having someone who gets it, even if you wouldn't wish it on anyone else. It makes it easier to believe what they say, instead of others who might give you platitudes, right? Even if they mean well, they often underestimate what it's like.
That's right. I understand why people don't like platitudes now. It feels... empty, like it doesn't mean anything.
[ She thinks back to the fear factor challenge. ]
After my trial, someone told me that it was okay if I eat them after I told them to stay away, because I could hurt them. It really... made me so angry. And in the Fear Factor challenge, I was reminded of being told to keep my instinct in check all the time if I were to interact with society.
...What? They seriously said that to you? Why would they ever think that's a good thing to say?
[ especially after she expressed concern for them? what the hell! it's probably a good thing that narja didn't name anyone, because he'd want to demand an explanation from them if she did. ]
Anyone who's paid the slightest bit of attention would know you're already doing it. And none of us would keep throwing it in your face like that.
I think they were trying to reassure me that they don't mind if they get hurt, and that I would be forgiven if I accidentally hurt them. But I mind. I didn't want to hurt anyone in the first place.
[ None of them, huh. Ironic. Narja sighs. ]
It made me realize that it's very difficult for others to understand each other.
And they should've considered that. [ that she didn't want to harm them. ] Even if they meant well, they should seriously think about what they're saying before they come out with something ridiculous like that.
...It can be. It's nice when they try, but... part of understanding each other is knowing when to shut up and pay attention to what someone else is saying, and thinking about what that means. And talking to them instead of making assumptions. But a lot of people just don't do that.
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Narja leans on him a little, resting her head on his shoulder. She figures this much should be fine. Maybe. ]
... I really lucked out with Michiru. I keep thinking that I've been lucky in the worst ways.
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Or maybe you're just good at finding the right people.
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[ leng feng... ]
You've been so aggressively kind to me.
[ And he's the reason why she didn't want to say "demons" in the fic plot meeting. ]
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But you have others here, too. Not just me.
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leng feng takes a deep breath, a melancholy smile on his face. ]
I can understand that. It's... nice, having someone who gets it, even if you wouldn't wish it on anyone else. It makes it easier to believe what they say, instead of others who might give you platitudes, right? Even if they mean well, they often underestimate what it's like.
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That's right. I understand why people don't like platitudes now. It feels... empty, like it doesn't mean anything.
[ She thinks back to the fear factor challenge. ]
After my trial, someone told me that it was okay if I eat them after I told them to stay away, because I could hurt them. It really... made me so angry. And in the Fear Factor challenge, I was reminded of being told to keep my instinct in check all the time if I were to interact with society.
[ She buries her face into his shoulder. ]
As if I wasn't doing that already...
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[ especially after she expressed concern for them? what the hell! it's probably a good thing that narja didn't name anyone, because he'd want to demand an explanation from them if she did. ]
Anyone who's paid the slightest bit of attention would know you're already doing it. And none of us would keep throwing it in your face like that.
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[ None of them, huh. Ironic. Narja sighs. ]
It made me realize that it's very difficult for others to understand each other.
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...It can be. It's nice when they try, but... part of understanding each other is knowing when to shut up and pay attention to what someone else is saying, and thinking about what that means. And talking to them instead of making assumptions. But a lot of people just don't do that.